hey its ponyboy. im pretty much the only person who's talkin about rosy's condition, cause johnny's just too depressed. her condition's gettin better, but she doesn't remember johnny more than she did the day she woke up. its seriously heart-breakin 2 watch, especialy yestrday's visit. he's comin 2 see her, even tho it kills him, i kno it does. i can see it in johnnycake's face. yesterday, both of us went 2 see her. johnny told her all these memories of them together, he recited the poem that she loves(Nothing Gold Can Stay), & he sang her(this is her nickname 4 it)"their song", "tell me soon" by rooney. she said once that it was written for them because it says,"tell me you love me, it's all I wanna hear, from you, tell me soon". johnny said that that's all he realy wants now, to hear rosy tell him she loves him, more than juliet loved romeo, just like she used to. he did all that in hopes that it would bring bac her memory...but she said that she still couldn't remember. After that.....here's wat was said:
johnny: "what's gonna happen if your memory never comes back? (he sees rosy just staring @ him, but he can tell how she's feelin by lookin into her eyes) rose, what's wrong?"
rosy: "everything. I KNO that i kno who you are, I KNO that our love was stronger than anything, but i only kno that cause of what ive been told by u. i....it feels like....like ive been gone for a long time. i kno memories were in my head, but theyre gone. (tears start to well up in her eyes) i don't want an empty head for the rest of my life! im only 16, i don't want my life wiped out, my memories, my HOPE! how can i have hope, have faith, if i can't even remember the person who made my life worth LIVING?! you told me that we couldn't live w/o each other, if one of us left this earth, the other would follow. we're soulmates, you can't live w/o your soulmate, cause as the name says, its like they share a part of you, of your soul. if i don't get my memory bac, you'll kill yourself, & don't lie, you said that 2 pony in the hallway! & its all that damn soc's fault! they've destroyed my life, erased my memories, caused me pain, & they don't CARE! my life has been shattered cause of them, & they feel no remorse, no lament! ....they're not sorry. WHY AREN'T THEY SORRY FOR KILLING ME?!?!?!?!"
after sayin that, she just buried her head into her hands & cried. johnny cried w/ her, i kno that in sayin that, she expressed all the pain he's feelin, the remorse, the guilt, the desperate begging to kno y they don't care about what they've done. she's rite, about the soulmate thing, how its like they each have a part of each other inside them. she feels what he feels, she thinks what he thinks, if one is sad, they cry together. i've never heard her say something so deep like that, never. it made me think: y DO the socs not care? y DO the socs not feel anything? ...a question that can never be answered. its the question that johnny & rosy are desperately begging 4 an answer: Why are you not sorry?
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